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Spottolski is a cult figure in German internet circles involving about two or three readers. He was nominated dramatis persona. He knows everything. And discusses it.
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Interview with Spottolski
We actually cornered Spottolski, well-known tomcat in the village of Ohorn, for a discussion. His views will make competitors sit up.
How does a tom get into marketing
Spottolski
In a rural environment you're in marketing all the time: mice, chicks, moles - there's no rest for the wicked. Not when I'm on the prowl
But that's normal - the daily fight for survival?
Spottolski
Well? ... Marketing is Life
But marketing requires a market. How do you define your target group?
Spottolski
Let's see, there's Clara, Greeneye, Chappy, a couple of chicks in the lower village
And your marketing plan?
Spottolski
If I catch another tom: Hit first, hit hard, keep on hitting
What marketing tools do you employ?
Spottolski
Maybe you'd word that a little more digestably
I mean, what is your marketing mix?
Spottolski
Tender beef with bits of lamb, tuna, fresh stock sometimes, biological stuff, know what I mean?
Fresh stock?
Spottolski
A bird gone overboard from its nest, also the odd butterfly, just for wellness
We actually meant the four P's: Pricing, Promotions etc
Spottolski
We handle that on the fly, strictly target-group oriented: first come, first served
What do Spottolski's customers think of your performance?
Spottolski
Those who survived it, are quite pleased
Are you planning a web presence?
Spottolski
Sure
You wouldn't like to tell our readers a little more?
Spottolski
With pleasure: It'll be a community endeavour, a real juicy in-site with lots of flesh, H2O, PVC, everything that opens and closes: plug-off, hop-back, you name it. Most important, it's got to smell nice
So where is that going to get you?
Spottolski
Nowhere. But the boss is footing the bill
Last question: You're not really from Poland. How did you come by your name?
Spottolski
USP, know what I mean. I had to put on a really cool CI.
So you chose a Polish name. What's cool about that?
Spottolski
Name one Polish cat between Bretnig and Gickelsberg!
That trick's bound to be copied ...
Spottolski
... I'll sort the bastards out!
It's that simple?
Spottolski
I got Marketing running in my veins
Thank you for your time
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